Ran across an outline for a story about the Morton salt girl:
The trouble started when Morton needed a new slogan. People used to non-clumping salt didn’t get “when it rains it pours.” in-house ad guys come up with “we gather it ourselves for purity.” But they don’t. Executive (chomping cigar, etc) says “send the girl!”
The Morton salt girl, happy for a hundred years except for the occasional bout of pneumonia, is sent to work in salt mines of Bolivia.
She floats a message in a bottle (or maybe in her upturned umbrella). Anderson Cooper finds it and does a story, huge scandal, she becomes cause celebre, people see the torn stained yellow minidress and think she’s been sex trafficked…
A family in Bolivia adopts her, the Heifer Project buys her a goat and she is very happy now.
I think that I will probably leave that story where it lies.